« IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN (TM) | Main | BLAIR IN DA HOOD »

May 10, 2006

OH NO, THE YOBS ARE COMING! BINGE DRINKING! AND ASSOCIATED THOUGHTS

From the Newspaper Of Perpetual Outrage:

Britain is seen as having the biggest problem with anti-social behaviour among a group of European countries, figures showed today.

...

Adrian Casey, managing director of ADT Europe & South Africa, said: "These perceptions, both inside and outside of Britain, are worrying.

"Government and policy makers may challenge them with statistics on crime and disorder, but as a nation we don't believe this situation is under control.

Yup. And uh...what? Let's get this straight: they are saying that no matter what the actual facts of crime are, we should be worrying about what people feel about crime? Better yet, this was a survey based on a survey of residents of France, Spain, Germany, and other places that are not actually Britain. Why, exactly, should the personal opinions and feelings of people who don't actually live here be worth a damn?

The Let's Cash In On A Dead Television Presenter Institute continues:

"The study shows people believe it is fuelled by the excessive consumption of alcohol.

But it's still a non-sequitur to claim this as a basis for policy, for the simple reason that if people believe something to be true that does not make it so -- and how much more true when more than 75% of the sample group would only in very rare cases personally experience being within a hundred miles of the "yob culture" in question. There are all manner of other explanations. It could be ignorance. it could be paranoia. It could be cultural stereotyping among the 75% of non-Brits; by the same criteria Germany would come up as the war-mongering-fascist capital of Europe. And France would be the last hold-out of cheeses that look and taste like MDF dust bound with mouldy cat sick, and nasal torture by armpit (except it happens to be true). I'm happy with yobbery, ta very much.

Tangent? Yeah. So anyway: how, exactly, is this a good basis for policy? The only things that matter are the facts on the ground, not how people perceive them. And rather than telling people that the Brits aren't a bunch of drunken hooligans, how about actually making sure it's true beforehand?

And thus do we get to the meat of the discussion:

"Increasing our access to alcohol cannot be the answer and it is time that the Government addressed perceptions of this problem."

But I won't quite so willingly gloss over any discussion of the real-world influences of 24-hour drinking. Forget that a bunch of Europeans (and British people who really need to get out more) might think we're going to get drunk and vandalise bus shelters and kick small, fluffy animals more often because of it. Rather than, "what will the neighbours think?", we should ask: "will this reduce crime?"

Now, I probably speak for all decent people when I say that 24-hour alcohol binges are awesome fun and that more people should try them. But I also think that 24-hour drinking will reduce crime for the simple reason that drunken crime (street brawling, huge queues at the local takeaway, etc) are more likely to happen when you get lots of drunk people together in the same place. Indeed, a drunk person alone is more likely to simply fall over and/or make odd phone calls to the effect of "iruvyoooo". It seems obvious to me that the biggest problems come at closing time for pubs and clubs, with a whole lot of drunk people leaving at the same time. The number and severity of problems would be reduced if this were not happening -- by allowing people to drink and leave at times that suit them.

And so the notion that having pubs open 24 hours will reduce crime is only counter-intuitive in the same way that the fact roads are open 24 hours (rather than, say, two hours a day) might reduce the number of car accidents is, likewise, "counter-intuitive". Which is to say, it isn't. It's common sense.

Of course, that would mean that the police would have to do their jobs (amazingly, the fact that police would have to be on the streets 24 hours a day is raised as an objection). It might also not do anything to assuage the fears of the Daily Mail crisis-factory and people that don't live here. But for the rest of us, more 24-hour pubs will work out well.

Posted by Lewis at May 10, 2006 11:44 AM